My friends don't know they're hurting my feelings. They think it's funny to tease me about my hair loss.

First of all, I have to ask whether you are actually being bullied? If your first answer is no, read on. The word 'bullying' covers lots of things:

• violence
  
• physical threats
• having gossip spread about you
• being called names
• being ignored 
  

We often don't like to call it bullying. If we call it bullying, we can feel like a wuss, and we worry that parents and teachers will get involved we'll lose control of the whole thing! But the truth is that if it makes you unhappy and worried about going to school, then it’s probably bullying and there are people that want to help put an end to it.

If you now think that you have a bully, visit this page where I gave advice to someone else who was being bullied.

Maybe you're not being bullied, it's just that your friends are being a bit silly and not thinking about your feelings? They probably just think your all having a laugh, so it’s up to you to let them know they’re not.  

It can be hard telling friends they’re upsetting you, so here are some tips:

• Ali says get allies! Allies are people who are on your side - good friends, understanding family members and nice teachers. You may feel you can talk more easily to one member of the group of friends? See if you can catch them on their own for a bit - tell them how you feel and ask them if they will back you up.

• Be prepared! Think of what you want to say, and how to say it, first. There’s no one rule - with some friends you might pick a quiet moment to explain why it hurts. Others might need a loud ‘leave it out’ to get the message!
  

• Practice makes perfect! Practice saying what you want to say aloud and in your head. Tell your allies - and ask what they think. You could even ask them to practice with you - get them to pretend to be your friends and practice 'telling it like it is' with them.
  

• Last but not least! Try doing something to chill out and boost your confidence before you tackle your friends. When you feel good about yourself it’ll be easier to speak to your friends.
  

Remember - they are your friends, so trust your instincts on what’ll work.  You’ll generally be right!



Good luck


Ali P